I’m grateful and honored to share with you a guest post from ROB WHITE. This post was sent to me as a gift; to consume as a private note or to post it here. How dare I withhold this from the world. So get ready for an adventure of the mind.
You may have noticed that most folks have nervous tendencies. Do you know what makes folks nervous? It’s because they secretly suspect that they are NOT the false-self they portray to the world … and they secretly fear that this image will be exposed as counterfeit!
Student: Why do we create a false-self in the first place… why not just be genuine?
Teacher: We create a false-self during childhood moments of fear and pain, hoping to get approval and acceptance; we couldn’t bear the pain of rejection that came with scolding.
The big problem comes when we try to convince ourselves that we are this false-self. We do this because we would rather be an illusion than be exposed for the flawed-being that we’ve come to believe we are (as a consequence of the 60,000 NO’s we hear from age two to six).
Can you see how you learned to use your imagination in a self-harming way? Unfortunately, you can hold onto false ideas about yourself for a lifetime … that is, unless you allow the truth to arouse right feelings within you.
Thoughts fraught with hampering opinions are lies.
“NO, I can’t do that … I’m not smart enough”
“NO, I’m not going to apply … I’m not pretty enough.”
These destructive lies make you super sensitive to any criticism (even constructive criticism).
Karen shared how upset she was because her friend said she was boring. Why was she so upset? Because she secretly believed that she’d been ‘found out’; she believed she was talent-less and uninteresting, pretending to have talent … now she was exposed! While working with Karen, it became apparent that she considered society a human jungle in which she was just trying to survive.
I helped Karen see the big problem with believing the 60,000 “NO’s” that she’d heard during childhood rearing: she felt sad and lonely deep down inside. This sad feeling stopped her from having insights into her real nature; it made her vulnerable to negative remarks of any kind; it stopped her from freely expressing her infinite uniqueness. I advised, “Whether you know it or not Karen, your authentic self is ten thousand times more talented and a millions times more interesting than any false self you can project onto the world.”
It’s time to ask yourself, “Why do I continue to project a false image of myself outwardly to impress others?
Can you see the enormous, undue pressure it puts on you?
What’s worse is that it stops your faithful higher creative force from expressing because it makes you choose bitterness over insight.
Why not be real?
Why not just be yourself?
The refusal of self-rescue causes great damage to your soaring spirit.
The truth can be explained with simple statements: you are an infinitely unique being; your unrealized potential is beyond measure. You have just taken the powerful truth into mind. This truth offers a powerful insight, the insight you need to eliminate harmful self-deception. This insight creates space for your original nature to express its unlimitedness.
You are marvelously made. You got scared as a child when this marvelous being was buried under 60,000 NO’s (like a needle in a haystack). Take charge. Begin solving yourself, and you will solve any problem that confronts you! Switch your attitude from self-concern to self-insight, and where there was once a foolish painful cover-up, there will be incredible perception.
Starting now, place your own life ahead of the cunning demands of the false-self that you created as a naive child. Remind yourself – “Human evolution appreciates nothing more than my enthusiasm to seek my unlimited potential.”
This was a GUEST POST…
Rob White has spent over 30 years studying and testing myriad methods and tools for success. He has honed and developed the methods into a very powerful success system. Rob wrote the book 180 to share the principles and methods he used to accomplish incredible results in his life. Having started with nothing to being $50,000 in debt at age 30, rob is now a multi-millionaire. Begin your journey of gaining the upper hand on life by reading Rob’s blog at MindAdventure.com.
DISCUSSION: How has self-deception / false imagery grasped a hold of you (we’re all guilty of it)? What are your thoughts on the truth that Rob shared: you are an infinitely unique being; your unrealized potential is beyond measure? Please share your comment below – for what you share can help unlock the door for another.
Dear Rob – Thank you for seeing more potential in me than I see in myself. You have brought me closer to understanding me….and realizing that my potential is truly unlimited. Also, thank you for this guest post.
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
“You are wonderfully and marvelously made!” -> so true.
Thanks for highlighting the importance of not only knowing self, but being honest with oneself as well. I don’t think it’s our fault that we develop screwed up relationships with ourselves. Our society and imperfect environments bang us up and break us down, but thank God for the power of wisdom and choice.
The day you realize and accept full responsibility for who you are, for the way your life is and will be, and for how you impact others is the day you’ll finally start to know yourself.
Marlee recently posted..How to Get Mentored by Someone You’ve Never Met Plus- 5 Tenets of Wisdom Every Women Entrepreneur Should Know!
Indeed, Marlee, if we are to be mentored by someone who knows, or if we are to mentor someone wanting toknow – we must first establish a healthy relationship with ourselves.The question is, who will protect you from the people who are suppose to protect you? The answer is YOU! blessings
Marlee – thanks for sharing your wonderfully stated comment. I appreciate that you speak/type from the heart. Thank you
I don’t accept with Marlee that we are not resposible for screwed relations. Everything that takes place in our lives is a consequence of our actions. There is nothing on this earth that can cast a false imagery over us making us take the wrong step leading to a loss of precious realtions. We need to compromise to a greter extent in certain extent and that is teh secret for healthier relations.
Ranjith recently posted..Caught in a cluster of feelings and emotions
That is an interesting perspective Ranjith.
I wonder, who is responsible for abuse inflicted upon them as a child? The child?
Who is responsible for being brought up in neglect, rejection, or isolation? The own brought into this world without asking?
I certainly agree that personal responsibility is the key to overcoming those things that damage us and manifest negative self-images within us. I agree that we hold the power to change that which has affected us as we grow in wisdom.
But I have to respectfully disagree that our life experience has no impact on how we relate to people. It’s exactly experience that dictates that behavior. How you decide to deal with it as you mature is what makes the difference.
Marlee recently posted..How Do You Handle A Business Relationship Gone Wrong
Acceptance is the key to self-actualization. The only way to accept is to acknowledge your real self. Thank you so much for posting this, because it serves as a reminder that if we do not accept who we are, with all of our faults too, the false self can make his/her way back in to our lives. Living as your false-self isn’t really living. It’s coping.
I love this quote you put at the end of the post; “Human evolution appreciates nothing more than my enthusiasm to seek my unlimited potential.” Added that to my quote list!
David recently posted..Mojo Killers and More
The person who can help you escape the false-self is the person who has escaped, himself. Give this some thought, David. It’s YOU … you’ve done it in the past (you can do it again). blessings
David – I loved the following quote from you: “Living as your false-self isn’t really living. It’s coping.” Thank you for the the great comment.
Your so right we are infinitely unique beings, with such wonderful potential, our savior and biggest limitation is our emotion feedback loop, its designed to protect us from pane and guide us towards pleasure.
The problem is the this feed back loop creates a ghost personality ( the false-self ). It take’s a great deal of honesty let go of the Inclusion, we are always wearing this mask, William Veasley made a great point about being alone, being alone can make you face your self, I guess That the power of meditation.
Thanks for the reminder
Lloyd recently posted..Have you got ghosts Be a ghost killer
The gullible believes that a crow is an eagle, and then wonders why he is so disappointed with life. How can we apply this to the false-self and the authentic-self, Lloyd? blessings
Hey Lloyd – I like what you’ve shared about the emotion feedback loop. Thank you for the inclusion of your creativity…you bring so much to the table.
So glad you posted this on here JK. Rob is such a great guy, talented writer, and he truly understands the psychology behind how we see ourselves and what we can do to free ourselves from all the walls that have encompassed us over the years.
Thanks, as always, for the good that’s found here on The Notebook
Marcus
Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..Why ‘Being Right’ Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be
When we really see how we harm our progress, we stop doing it. You now have eyes to see, Marcus! blessings
Marcus – It’s a feeling of honor to have Rob’s guest post here. He’s added a great amount of value to my life. Thank you for always supporting the notebook!
Hi Rob & Jk,
Great post. We carry around all the “stuff” from our childhoods and it is challenging to unload. When we are faced with our true selves it is an open doorway to wonderful possibilites! Thanks!
Dandy recently posted..The tragedy of self-deception and the gift of honesty
Tricky thoughts trick us into believing we know what’s best for us; the false-self is fraught with tricky thoughts, Dandy. blessings
Hello Dandy – I’m starting to learn just what you’ve shared…that when we’re faced with our true selves it is an open doorway to wonderful possibilities. Thank you for sharing that.
Rob, so true. We get so caught up in what others think of us that we lose ourselves. I wonder just how successful some people would be if they would just stop trying to make status-quo victories and keep their day jobs (when they didn’t have to), and everything else and really capitalize on who they are. Great message, my friend.
Jk, hope you’re well, buddy!
Bryan Thompson recently posted..Do You Ever Feel Like a Failure
Misfortunes happen to us that need not happen, Bryan …Jk’s teachings offer an escape. blessings
Bryan – I love it – “capitalize on who you are”. That’s what I’m now bout – took a long time for me to get it – but I’m getting it! Thanks
Jk Allen recently posted..Understanding Yourself
Hi Rob,
Very excellent post! Most of us as children get affected by many negative statements from others. Often times, people tend to take other people’s opinions and neglect theirs. If someone tells them “they are boring, dull, failure” etc…they tend to believe these lies and lose confidence in themselves. The key is to overcome our limiting beliefs and start programming our subconscious mind with positive ideas. We have to develop faith. It is a life journey, but at the end, we win. Thanks for sharing my friend and thanks JK for hosting the article
Dia recently posted..How negative thinking affects us
Preventing others from learning from their mistakes … is a big mistake, Dia. The False-self tries to prevent us from learning from our mistakes by insisting we are right with our current attitudes and views. blessings
Dia – Thank you for providing such a thoughtful comment (as you always do). It’s great having you a part of the community here.
Jk Allen recently posted..Understanding Yourself
Inspiring post Rob!
It has taken me a long time to feel this; to really believe this: I’m more than enough because God loves me just the way I am.
Alex
When you find yourself losing at the game of life, Alex, you can be sure the loss was caused by your invented personality (the false-self). YES, god loves you and accepts however you invent yourself to be.
Alex – Simple, yet powerful statement…I share the same feeling.
Rob,
This post was amazing. It hit me from multiple directions. One as an adult I have to cope with the challenges I faced in my childhood and determine how they affect my decisions today. Secondly I am a parent and want to give my child the best opportunity to suceed so I want to turn the tides from “no” to “yes”. I know this may not be the premise of this post but the lessons learned are plentiful. This is just what I got from my first read. I will let you know what I get from the next two times.
Frank recently posted..How Do You Sustain A Dream
Start your day, today, by reminding yourself that your journey includes shaking off past NO’s, Frank, and you awaken to the truth that sets you free to raise yourself and your children gently. blessings
Frank – I’ve shared many times on Rob’s blog how his teachings have directly led me to taking better approaches with my kids. Thanks for your comment Frank!
Hello Allen,
I can’t believe what a superb article this is. In order to understand yourself you first have to understand your problems, what are you problems and what AREN’T your problems, what problems do you have and what problems you don’t. Understand why you are ‘you’ the way you are. Creating a self-you is a big mistake a lot of teenagers especially, make, creatin a self-you is simillar to killing the genuine-you. In order to have success in life, business and so on, you got to be genuine – be who you are, don’t be afraid of being yourself ! Trying to look like someone who you aren’t makes you look fool, being you is totally great, if someone likes the fake you – think how much satisfaction you will have if you will be genuine-you and they will like you the way you are, it’s absolutly amazing. Don’t tend to lose your personality, cheer up, be strong and optimistic, this is a mad World, if you survive it and rule it – you are a winner.
Thank you for sharing this fantastic post, I really enjoyed reading and commenting it, hope you will write this kind of articles more and more.
Best regards,
Maria
Maria Pavel recently posted..Red Cross CNA Training
The dull aches that we feel when trying to achieve our dreams, are NO-Attacks, Maria. When we take the time to pause and listen deeper, we are urged to abandon our loyalty to NO; that’s the Unlimited-Self speaking. Indeed the world can be a mad world when NO is the dictator. blessing
Hello Maria, welcome to Hustlers Notebook. It thank you for stopping by, reading and commenting. I really appreciate it and hope to see you back soon. Again, thanks!
There are times, when I think I’ve come so far in understanding myself; I look back to even just a year ago and see the huge differences between now and then. But then I take another look at myself, and see that much still needs to be done.
I still have many flaws, I’m still imperfect. But I’m not gonna let that stop my journey through life, into being the best possible ‘me’ I can possibly be.
We are who we are, because we are.
Thanks Rob!
P.S. Jk, your site is fast becoming a haven for personal development. You’re on the right track mi amigo
Stuart recently posted..The Lion By The River
When we allow our real nature deal with our flaws, Stuart,we find that we are flawless. Stop forcing a solution and a solution comes. Albert Einstein said, “We are all God, ignorant of the fact.” I love that. blessings
Stuart – Hey, thanks for the kindness man. And, I agree: we are who we are -marvelously made, as Rob said!
We are all absolute perfection Rob, millions of perfect people just as ourselves. The reason we feel so retched and wrong is because we move towards another less perfect soul moulded by life, society, parents and schools, and influence. If we can muster the will to drop what we’re not we can find our own mind and individualness. Tears and fears then become smiles all the while. The only thing missing in tr_th is U! Great clarion call to the world Rob and superb guest choice JK!
John Sherry recently posted..The Lotion Of Emotions
It is indeed a happy day, John, when a person comes to realize that he can no longer allow his false confidence to run the show. Ponder that for a moment; it is what you are saying in your own way. blessings.
John – You have a way with words…”Tears and fears then become smiles all the while.” That was a good one! Really good. Thanks for your comment.
Rob,
Thought provoking post!
When I reflect on my own life, my nervous tendencies always originate from a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy. As I’ve come to realize this, it’s forced me to take a deeper look at the true source of my value as an individual….which doesn’t come from the way I look or act, but from my divine nature.
The problem is that I’m in a viscous cycle of forgetting and re-remembering this on a daily basis, but I’m getting better:)
Thanks for sharing this!
Jason from Skyward recently posted..60-000 Opportunities a Day to Choose Peace
The refusal of self-rescue can take many forms, Jason (viscous cycle is one). Our childhood NO’s give us a distorted view of ourselves (we don’t even see how we are refusing self-rescue …. until WE DO SEE). Hallelujah !!! blessings.
Jason – that viscous cycle is a beast. Many of us have at least a touch of it (including me), but I’m working on ridding that sucker!
Wonderful simply wonderful is all i can say. My two best buds working together in harmony. What more can I ask for…Keep on keeping on Rob and JK.
jonathanfigaro recently posted..Four Shocking Laws to Make Your Head Spin
When not knowing what to do with ourselves, jonathan, the perfect activity is to form an alliance with other like-kind minds and inquire deeper into the nature of ‘being human’. blessings
Jonathan – harmony indeed! Thanks for your continued support
I really love this message and this wisdom. I actually just Tweeted one of your quotes Rob that is so powerful … “Growth isn’t adding something on … it is undoing the limitations that NO impose on you. With the undoing of NO, you automatically grow.”
Thanks for always passing along your wisdom and JK, thanks for sharing this post.
Sibyl – alternaview recently posted..How to Grow Into The Person You Really Want to Be
When folks dare to be true, like you do, Sibyl … no one needs to lie. Ponder the gift that offers. blessings
Hi Sibyl – I agree, that was a powerful quote. Thank you so much for the comment and continuing to support the cause here at the Notebook.
Hi Rob,
What a great reminder about being real. Trying to live up to a false image takes so much work and in the end, it is not worth it. The real you will always come screaming through.
Lisa H. recently posted..How to Conquer the Mail and Paper Demon
As you continue to make your mind intelligent to the truth, Lisa, you increase your capacity for pure joyful living. Such a gift you give yourself! blessings
Hi Lisa – In the end it really isn’t worth it…to live within a false image. I agree with that completely. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Hi Rob and JK
What a brilliant article! Rob…you always just cut through all of the crap and psychobabble to get straight to the point that matters. I was quite nervous as a child and from what you say I think I can now understand why I became so bolshy as a teenager…I refused to let anyone get emotionally close to me. I was obviously trying to secure and protect my real self without interference from anybody else. The good news is that it certainly worked…the bad news is that I probably still don’t allow anyone to get too emotionally close. They get so far and then BANG! the door slams.Hmmm! Maybe it’s a good thing…but who knows. I need to think that one through properly.That’s a really interesting insight. Thank you so much for your clear vision Rob. And JK my wonderful friend…thank you so much for publishing this post by Rob.
Rosemary recently posted..Do You Still Dare to Dream
What we vibrate, we attract, Rosemary. When NO’s become our unconscious vibration – no matter how hard we work at attracting good, loving folks …BANG!
You have noticed this; noticing is a powerful step to changing the vibration. blessings.
Hi Rosemary – thank you so much for the nice comment…that was awesome!
Hi Rob,
Thanks for reminding us how it is to be true to our uniqueness no matter how hard our society tries to make us conform to the norms. I personally think in this age, fighting to express our uniqueness is our only chance at being successful. The moment we start letting the outside conflict with our inside, we face the danger of mediocrity. In essence, at all cost, let’s stand tall for what we feel deep about on the inside, no matter how odd that makes us feel to the outside world.
Tito Philips, Jnr. recently posted..Progress Evaluation For Entrepreneurs Part 3
Tito – I’m with you, I think our uniqueness is ultimately what present us with the full opportunity of success. Thank you for the comment and support.
Understanding our own self is the main key for confidence and even for loving others. If we can’t understand ourselves, we can’t never understand other people. Thanks for the great insight, eh.
Hi Peny – Welcome to HustlersNotebook. I’m glad that you took the time to reply. “key for confidence”…I agree. Your insights are always welcomed and will be hoped for on future post.
One of my favourite quotes is, “your opinion of me is none of my business”. It’s amazing how influenced our lives are, and how we’ve been conditioned to constantly seek approval. It’s definitely a blessing to become aware of this, and to work at breaking free! Thanks for sharing this post! Wisdom for the world!
Mike
Mike recently posted..Mike in the Morning 4 – ENERGY
Hi Mike – I know I’m highly influenced by things all around me. Wish i could say otherwise, but it’s just not the case…YET!
Thanks for the comment.
As soon as I loved myself – I began to have a better life. My hair, health, personality, joys, etc…I had to accept everything that I was before I could be a good friend, brother, son. Without that inner “knowing” of being who you were meant to be – it’s truly difficult to be a help to others.
Christian recently posted..For the Love of Art- Interview with Jonny Love
Welcome to the Notebook Christian! I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment and strengthen the discussion. What you shared is an exact testimony that I have. Thanks for the insight!
No problem – thanks for being an inspiration and joy for others to be around.
Christian recently posted..What great things do you want to do in your life
{ 2 trackbacks }