This week we conclude the series. If you haven’t checked out part one and two, make sure you catch up on the conversation and to learn more about Rob White of MindAdventure.com.
Rob
Hi Jk - I’ve enjoyed this joint-venture very much. I always receive accurate direction when I listen to the truth. Truth speaks a language that is natural to success. You speak a language that is natural to success. Thank you, Jk.
Accurate direction does not come from parroting good advice. It requires letting go of cherished opinions and theories that limited your outlook in the past; now there is truth (combined with feeling), in what you share. Real goodness comes from this kind of sharing.
Some members of your internet community were able to get involved in our conversation, really involved, Jk. And some stood on the
corner, casually listening, like you and I are passerby’s chatting. Those who really get involved are willing to give up their cherished opinions and theories in the name of personal Growth and Development. You can feeeel the difference in their comments. They are a gift to us, to themselves, and to the world.
I’ve reviewed our last two blog posts together, Jk, and would like to wrap this series up with the following: There was a time when I had too much to do with others and too little to do with myself. I read dozens of self-help books and had become a know-it-all. I thought my job was to fix everyone else, but not apply the knowledge to my own life. I’ll share how I fixed this ‘not really getting involved pickle‘ that I’d put myself in.
- I stopped quoting popular sayings.
- I had the courage to say, “I don’t know” rather than parrot advice I’d read, but had never actualized in my life.
I accepted that I couldn’t reach the rich harbor I dreamt of reaching until I stopped preaching and admit that I, too, was lost at sea.- I began using what I considered a crisis in my life to gain empowering insights about myself.
- I was now ready to learn what I needed to know to get my life back … this is really getting involved.
Student: I wish to escape my bad habits.
Teacher: Can you escape your ailing body?
Student; NO!
Teacher: Neither can you escape your bad habits.
Student: Then I’m lost forever.
Teacher: Not at all. Bad habits cannot be escaped but they can be transformed.
Student: HOW?
Teacher: Stop being a know-it-all, and start being a sincere student of life.
You are a sincere student, Jk. Though I’ve had some amazing breakthroughs in some domains of my life, I am still a sincere student. I acknowledge and appreciate all of the sincere students that you share your website with. The human race depends on sincere students.
Blessings, rob
Jk
Thank you for the valuable lesson, Rob. I’m honored that you took the time to share your insights here. By taking on your questions with honesty, I’ve acquired new insights into my world. I can only imagine that those who are seriously interested in reaching new heights of potential also gained new life impacting insights as well.
Above, you made the following statement that I would like to comment on:
“There was a time when I had too much to do with others and too little to do with myself. I read dozens of self-help books and had become a know-it-all. I thought my job was to fix everyone else, but not apply the knowledge to my own life.”
For me, learning had always been more about knowledge acquisition than anything else. It was about getting all the information I could–but with very little intention of personal use. I would read a book for the sake of reading it and never ask myself “how the information applies to me”, or “how can it apply to my life”. I was a check-in-the-box student more worried about the process of learning than comprehending and applying what I had learned.
As a result of being a “quasi” student, I did pick up some great lessons along the way–but always at my discretion and my convenience, and always based on what felt good to me–not what challenged me. This meant that my growth was based on my comfort. And that’s the issue–I wasn’t willing to exit my comfort-zone.
This reminds me of when I first started working out in high school. I only did the exercises that were easiest for me to perform. As a result, my strength grew in those areas only. This created created lopsided deficiencies. I thought I knew what I was doing and didn’t need to follow the advice of anyone who was telling me differently. In fact, I told others that they could take my approach and omit the ‘other stuff’ (horrible advice).
I eventually realized that I was stunting my physical potential by doing it ‘my way’, so I changed. Before long, all aspects of working out became a comfortable endeavor; no matter the muscle group or exercise. I was only able to expand my comfort-zone by stepping outside of it first. I had to dismiss the worry of being wrong; and accept the idea that I really don’t know it all.
Let’s keep it real, there are enough [fake] self-appointed gurus that talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. I’m a student of life. I know that I stand to learn the most from the things that challenge my own cherished opinions or values, or the situations that take me out of the shade of protection (comfort). It’s becoming easier for me to be a sincere student because I’ve accepted that I’m not here to create the curriculum–I’m here to absorb it and share it.
DISCUSSION …and the series concludes. Do you find that you may spend too much time trying to help others and maybe not enough time truthfully helping yourself? Do you find that in order to teach, you must be a sincere student too? Please share your thoughts–for what you have to say just may be the link that someone else needs to elevate to the next level.
Illustrations by nick
{ 112 comments… read them below or add one }
“I was only able to expand my comfort-zone by stepping outside of it first”
Bingo! That’s the hardest part for a lot of people, me included. It’s amazing what insights you get once you step over that invisible threshold between your comfort zone and the unknown, foreign zone.
I suffered from not stepping out of my comfort zone for the longest time, but what I did was adopt a ‘I don’t care what people think of me because this is my life and I will do what I want to do’ mindset and I’ve slowly but surely crept out of that comfort zone.
Life is too short to stay in that zone. It’s a great feeling when you do something that’s outside your norm whether it’s successful or not.
Thanks to both you JK and Rob for this great series!
Jeremy Brown recently posted..One day at a time
Ditto Jeremy. I am slowly but surely getting out of my comfort zone so I can expand it. I love that. So many good things discussed here. Another thing you mentioned, i am working on. And a quote that helps; “What other people think about me is none of my business” thanks Jeremy.
Al
Hey Al,
It’s a slow process, but at least you’re working towards that end goal. It’s an interesting dynamic…the more you get out of your comfort zone the more life seems to open up new opportunities. It’s a great thing!
Keep working hard!
Jeremy Brown recently posted..One day at a time
Hey Jeremy,
I have to come out of my comfort zone too because once you are in your comfort zone you don’t feel like doing something.
I have been in this comfort zone for last 6-7 years as I had a lavish job but once I felt the need for me to construct something alternative as well I have been working on a project.
Its a new thing for me so it is difficult and sometimes I get discouraged as well but I am sure I would overcome all those emotions and reach my goal!
Thanks a lot!
Devine Power recently posted..Type of Physical Therapy Assistant Schools and Physical Therapy Assistant Requirements
Hi Jeremy. We will never go wrong by questioning our current beliefs about ourselves. Every time we dare do so, we stick our big toe an inch farther outside our comfort zone (which becomes our dead zone when it goes unchallenged for too long). blessings
J! You’re right: Life Is…Too Short! It’s too short for us to let “us” keep “us” back.
Throwing away old ideas and attitudes allows me to absorb new ones. If I don’t challenge what I already know, then in time I build a wall around myself–but not as protection, rather as confinement.
Glad you enjoyed the series my friend. Thanks for sharing all of your personal insights and adding to the conversation.
PEACE
You have a very expressed article! Great Job! Lesson learned! i had to explore beyond my capacity.. Thanks for the post!..
Hi Sally. The best way to explore beyond your supposed capacities is to ask, “Why do I cling to beliefs that lead to nowhere?” That’s powerful! blessings
Very nicely said Rob!
Devine Power recently posted..Type of Physical Therapy Assistant Schools and Physical Therapy Assistant Requirements
Hi Sally, exploring beyond our capacity is a sure way to challenge ourselves to step outside of our comfort’ zone.
Thank you for stopping by.
Wow. JK and Rob, you’ve done an awesome job here. You’ve packed so many insights into this series of posts, I think it takes multiple readings to digest them all.
I’ve definitely had to face up to and overcome the know-it-all in myself. Luckily, that happened some time ago. I think it’s natural that when you find something that really works for you (or you think it does) and you get excited about it, that you want to shout it to the world and convert everyone. But at some point I realized a couple of things: 1.) If it worked for me, that didn’t mean it would necessarily work for anyone else. It wasn’t my place to make that judgment. And 2.) You will never know it all. No matter how much you’ve learned and discovered and realized, there’s always something more to learn. In fact, the more I know about my chosen subject of “expertise”, the more I realize that I don’t know. That’s because the more clarity I get, the more aware I am of just how vast the Universe and all its knowledge are. The difference is that before, when I thought I could eventually learn it all, and was trying to reach that goal, that would’ve discouraged me. But once I made peace with the fact that it’s more about the journey and that I would never reach any kind of finish line, but always keep learning and expanding, I actually got excited about the fact that I would never run out of opportunities and experiences and stuff to learn. I don’t ever have to get bored!! I’ll never be done. That doesn’t mean I can’t ever rest. I just means that it’ll just keep getting better and better and better. To infinity. Hell yes. Can I get an Amen. Ha! (I’m currently in happy, shiny, puppy mode again, so it doesn’t take much to get me all riled up in a good way.)
Hugs!!!
Melody
Melody | Deliberate Receiving recently posted..What Yvonne The Cow Can Teach You About The Law Of Attraction
Hi melody. Indeed, the more we know, the more we know that there is so much more that we do not know. A great question to ask, when feeling stuck, is this: “Why do I endure life rather than joyfully live it?” WOW! blessings
Amen to that Melody!
The more I learn, the more I realize how very little I know. And like you, I love the idea that I’ll never run out of opportunities and experiences to learn from. There’s a lesson in everything, if we’re willing to see it that way. I see it that way for sure and love the idea of allowing the lessons to teach me.
Thanks for sharing your GREAT comment. You always bring great energy and heart to the discussion.
JK – This comment really hit me: “I always receive accurate direction when I listen to the truth. Truth speaks a language that is natural to success.”
In the work course I am currently undertaking to become the writer I want to be, truth was something Julie Cameron hit on. For a writer, if we do not write our truth, our readers know it and the product we prodce becomes fluff and filler.
I did this one assignment thinking how hard can this be. I tell the truth. What I discovered is a I tell part of the truth because telling all the truth leaves me naked and vulnerable. However, when I told the hold truth in my writing, it was beautiful and free. I could feel the difference.
I would think that dealing truthfully with our desires, hopes, dreams and possibilities would be the same whether you are a writer or whatever.
The other thing I discovered is the reason I didn’t embrace ‘the whole truth and nothing bu the truth.” It was because I was afraid of other people’s perspective. Ouch!
Thank you both for this series. You have given me much fodder to ponder and have also confirmed much that I myself am learning in my own journey as a writer.
Have an amazing day!
Dominique recently posted..September 2011 ME Story: Barry
The truth shall set you free Dominique! Great insight, as part of the audience I can definitely tell when a writer isn’t being truthful. It’s like a 6th sense.
Jeremy Brown recently posted..Refuse Mediocrity
Jeremy – I totally agree with you!
Dominique recently posted..September 2011 ME Story: Barry
Hi Dominique. THE TRUTH – that’s a big one. Human beings go wrong only because of failure to ask probing questions that reveal the absolute truth. blessings
Rob – You would think writing the truth would be easy especially when you are itomeone who thinks you operate in truth. Writing it isn’t always as easy as one would think though because you are left naked and vulnerable and that is not always a comfortable place.
But it is a place I am choosing to go.
Thanks Rob. Have a great day!
Dominique recently posted..September 2011 ME Story: Barry
Hi Dominique – thank you for yet another great comment.
You made a very honest statement here: “I was afraid of other people’s perspective”. I’ve certainly been there before. Sometimes the truth hurts…but there’s another saying that states: “the truth shall set you free”. So anytime I find myself struggling with that decision, I remind myself that yes, it may hurt…but it also be beneficial in some way.
Thank you for sharing your experiences from your writing course.
Take care.
As a personal observation Jk I think the most freeing phrase I can ever say, those magic three words that bring sparkle and magic into my life are…I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers and I agree sometimes to awaken to that allows me to stay open, atuned, and sensually alert for more to come my way. Love the concise and oh-so-true message in this post – you always but always speak with clarity and fortitude JK. Top notch.
John Sherry recently posted..Life And A 3 Month Down Time
Hi John, You love the true message that this post offers because you have learned to love the truth. This is the only way to achieve real, lasting change in one’s life.
blessings
Thanks John. I used to hate saying I don’t know. As an early college grad I would make up answers that sounded good, and deal with their repercussions later. I just hated the thought of my clients not seeing me as an expert. Over time I learned that others really value the “I don’t know” when you’re willing to find an answer. It shows commitment and professionalism now. So today, I don’t mind saying I don’t know. How in the world can I know everything???!
Thanks for the comment and kind words.
I’ve loved the Learning from Rob series. A rare type of guy, who actually walked away from a teaching career, to pave his own path, and now it’s clear that he’s back to teaching…but he’ll never stop learning.
The first thing I’m going to do today is to stop and try to listen….try to absorb what this world is telling us. Many of us, myself esp included, seem to think that hustlin’ means to constantly be on the go, be on the phone with one guy and trying to end the call as quickly as possible so as to get on the phone with the next guy. And the cycle should continue until we have enough financial security to work for ourselves….it’s obvious tho that this is not what hustlin’ is, and maybe this is a first step in learning that.
Hi Dr. Raymond.
Student: What is the first sign of ‘the dawning of a new life’?
Teacher: When real feel loose and easy and our action is super-effective.
Feeling loose and easy is very different from being ‘constantly on the go’. I made seven figures in less than three months in one investment idea that fell in my lap. In the money domain – this experience was ‘a new dawning’ for me. Do you mean life can be that easy in all domains of living? YES, if you allow it to be. (I still have some domains where I seem to think that I have to struggle).
blessings
Rob,
I was brought up by parents who immigrated here as refugees and their outlook has always been, if it doesn’t hurt, it’s not good for you. The more something hurts, the better it is for your future. I’ve always operated this way. Loose and easy escapes my vocabulary, everything I seem to do is either painful and hectic, or complacent and stagnant.
The idea of pursuing something loose and easy is a sudden breath of fresh air, and the timing of your comment couldn’t have been better to hear (read). I am ready to learn, and I truly am ready to listen and become a student of my environment. And for once, to take the loose and easy approach (which will absolutely break every modus operandi I have ever known).
Hey Rammy,
The hustle and bustle is here to confuse us. We think that we’re making great strides by taking on more and more work. I’m coming to learn that my strides are attributed to doing the right work…not necessarily doing a lot of work.
It was nice chattin with you yesterday. I’ll be in touch man.
Thanks Jk and Rob. This is fantastic. So much good stuff. Being a sincere student of life. Powerful. To expand your comfort zone, you must step outside of it. Wow ! Absorb and Share the knowledge. “I don’t know” is ok. Sometimes, I AM lost at sea.
Like you said earlier, Jk. Rob, too. We need to work on ourselves and continue to learn, so we can be of maximium service to others. Love yourself first, so you can love others. Same concept. Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn. So glad I read this today. Thanks for the great reminders, Rob and JK. I will continue to learn and try and be a Sincere Student of Life.
Thanks again. A great finale to an incredible series.
Al
Al Smith recently posted..To Post or Not.
Hi Al. What we are learning is that we can stop causing trouble for ourselves. You have summed this point up nicely with your comment. Life really is easy for those who allow it to be. I’ve met them! Sometimes I’m like them (sometimes I’m not). Thank you
Hello Al,
Yes, I’m with you…this was an incredible series. I really found it impacting…being challenged with questions that I would have never asked myself. Continual learning will always be a constant in my life because lessons are always stepping out in front of me.
Thanks for the support Al!
Jk & Rob, thank you so much for sharing this conversation in the public domain. I really appreciate it. I feel it’s definitely made a difference – in reconsidering my past, better understanding my present, and guiding me toward my future.
Working through my own answers to Rob’s questions in Part 2 (I’ll publish them sometime this week), I’ve seen the power of stepping aside and asking why I’m pursuing this or not pursuing that. Is it because I’m trying to mold the world to fit my own preconceptions, or because I’m looking to grow? Each time I do this, I make some kind of discovery and it’s exciting. It’s like finding a faint trail through the brush. Where will it lead? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.
I still desire to help others grow, but I must remember I must grow as well if I’m to be effective. What’s good for the goose, after all…
Amazon tells me “180″ has shipped. I’m excited to get started.
Brian Driggs recently posted..Brian Fishbone on Peace
Hi Brian. AH, trying to mold the world to fit our concept of how it should be – that’s a big one! We keep traveling, Brian, never settling down; always looking for that oasis (not knowing it is right here where we are right now). I love your energy.
Hey Brian,
I enjoyed reading your answers to part two of this series over at your blog. Awesome (as I said a bunch of times in my comment over at your blog)!
“I still desire to help others grow, but I must remember I must grow as well if I’m to be effective.”
I’m with you 100% on that!
I’ll get you a piece for your series in the next week!
Rob, Jk, thank YOU both for inspiring me to action.
“180″ arrived yesterday and I immediately read through to Day One. Excited, I passed the textured, orange tome to my wife and said, “Just open it up anywhere, read what you see, and tell me you don’t want to read this one with me.” She’s in!
Someone once told me, “We are all amazing creatures; especially when we think we are.” It’s all about thinking and doing. I can. I am.
Brian Driggs recently posted..Inspired by Jk & Rob
Glad you received the book. It’s great. I read it last year and also brought one for my brother as a xmas gift.
Best of luck to you!
Hi Brian. It is folks like you that make a real difference in the world. It is your wonderful attitude and soaring spirit that is so nourishing to so many lost souls. Thank you for being who you are. blessings
Aw, shucks, guys. I’m just another guy oopsing his way through the green mush. Appreciate the sentiments, though. If it is to be…
Brian Driggs recently posted..Jeremy Meyers on Curiosity
I completely enjoyed these conversations. Yes, I too when through that phase of trying to fix everyone else but myself. I am so glad that I am no longer there. Now I have the knowledge that it is impossible to fix someone else, only they can do that. The best thing that I can do is to fix myself and be a model of good health and wellness. I really like what you said about doing the exercises that were easiest for you to perform. and your strength growing in those areas only. As an athlete, I found this especially poignant. Currently, I am working on an exercise routine that will eliminate these lopsided deficiences. I want to eliminate them in my life and in my body.
“it is impossible to fix someone else, only they can do that”
Well said Lisa. Only they have the capability of fixing themselves. And as you said, the only thing any of us can do is work on ourselves and hope that others take notice and make their necessary fixes.
Jeremy Brown recently posted..Are you prepared for your big moment?
Hi Lisa.
The world is filled with folks who think their job is to be ‘the general manager of the universe’ and fix everyone else. I took on that self-appointed position; how frustrating. No one seemed to care! What a crisis for me !!
Let a crisis fall upon your wish to see through it, and you see the insanity! I have seen the light !!
Thank you for the reminder.
Hi Lisa,
It’s much easier for us to turn our focus to others because it gives us a scapegoat from ourselves. But what we do is minize our ability to truly be of help to others. I seek to be a millionaire because those types of resources will help me help others in great ways…ways that I can’t now.
Thanks for your [always] great comment Lisa.
I’ve always been nervous about being a teacher. After all, who am I, what do I know. But then I look at other teachers and the $hit they’re teaching, and I sometimes think that I don’t even know how they can get so wrong. Or you see the teachers of mediocrity … teaching people how to be mediocre themselves AND THEY HAVE FOLLOWERS. People believe that losing is winning, that average is huge success, that barely surviving is safety. If these people are the teachers, then why aren’t I the teacher? I have value by teaching. That’s why I started my blog because I see a million quacks with loud voices and many followers — I can’t believe they’re getting results with what they advise. Often I’m sure they are non-practicing. But I’m nervous to say I know anything, even though what I do know I know better than nearly everyone, and I am in the top percentiles of everything I think I’m competent in. I never pretend I know something I don’t, which is not true of most of the gurus. It’s so sad that it’s so hard to find a good and honest teacher out there at all.
That’s why you have value as a teacher Jk. Because you sincerely know what you know, and you can teach that. At the same time, you improve on that which you don’t. The self-indulgent guru believes they are beyond learning and so stays at their mediocre level yet professes to be a master. Since the newcomer can’t tell the difference they are misled. Being a teacher is a responsibility.
Alex | Perfecting Dad recently posted..My Kids The Achievement Machines (+ Biking Fail)
WOW, I love that distinction, Alex. how many millions of people become teachers of mediocrity. We are here (on this planet) to experience excellence. How else are we to reach deeper into our reserve of unlimited potential and experience more and more of it? Yet, we settle for mediocrity and say, “That’s good enough.” I love that insight. When mediocrity is not glorified, seeking excellence becomes normal. blessings
Wow Alex, you really shared your mind here. I love it. I too battle with the idea that I’m a teacher. I know it’s the case, but i choose to refer to myself as an example. Not THE example…but AN example.
And know this, comes with a serious responsibility; knowing that others look up to you and make moves based on my direction.
I’m glad you’re a teacher. I know you aim for the stars and always keep it real in your teachers. Thanks for that!
Hey JK, you should never have the attitude you are too old to learn or you know it all. You can typically find some learning opportunity in just about every life encounter you have.
Some people you just can’t fix no matter what level of wisdom you try to impart unless they want to be ‘fixed’. At best, you can encourage them to seek a journey of being a student of life.
The truth does speak a language that is natural to success; be true to yourself and others and it will help you live a purposeful life.
This was a good series JK, sounds like you have a renewed focus and direction in your life. Best of luck on this journey and I look forward to watching your progress.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Did anyone else feel that?
Hi Bill. One’s true world is never in danger of collapse, but we must claim our right to experience it (with all of its myriad riches). As you look forward to watching Jk progress, you look forward to watching ‘you’ progress … for what we see-eth, we be-eth. blessings
Hi Bill,
Thanks for the well wishes. My focused hasn’t just been REnewed, it’s NEW altogether!
I know exactly what mean by you can’t fix others – they have to fix themselves. I know it all too well. I’ve stopped trying to fix people and now focus more on just being support; offering ‘maybe’ a different perspective from people to see from. It either will helps them see something new, or it won’t. But I don’t beat myself up if they don’t.
I will always be a learner my friend. It’s what I love doing and I know that I’ll never reach super saturation.
PEACE
Rob, I have to say that this admonition to grow, to invest in yourself, and to stop trying to fix everyone else is usually easier said than done, but is so important in getting from where we are to where we want to be. It’s that extra discipline to make ourselves read more, to be challenged more, and to give more out of all of that. We can’t give what we don’t have. It’s great to be back in the blogosphere. I’ve kept up reading MindAdventure. Looking forward to joining the conversation again.
JK, I hope all is well, sir! Great to be back!
Bryan Thompson recently posted..How do you Pick Yourself Up When You’ve just Struck Out?
Hi Brian. ‘That extra discipline’ … painful gullibility is vanished by … ‘that extra discipline’. Now we are left with the truth. the treasure chest is right there in front of us, waiting to be opened. That’s for bringing this up. blessings
And Bryan is back in the house! Nice to see you my friend. How are things? How’s the ministry? I hope all is well. We need to catch up.
I used to beat myself up for not being able to help others after investing a lot of time with them. When things didn’t workout, I would blame myself. But you know – it wasn’t mean…I was the ‘help’. So now, my expectations are still high, but the away “my help” affects me is much different. I just feel good about being in service for others. I don’t feel bad that my service may not get the results that I’d hope for…but I still hope for certain results. (okay, i admit it…that was confusing!)
You’ve been missed in the sphere man. Glad you’re back to business.
Thanks for sharing this series with us Jk.
One lesson I am learning right now: To serve myself the way I serve others. This lesson is opening new doors and increasing my sense of self- peace.
Alex
I love the lesson you’ve taken away. I’ve always been inclined to serve others…it’s just a part of my makeup. I enjoy it and feel fulfilled from doing it. I’ve felt very guilty at times when serving myself. But that’s foolish as i think about it now, after learning from Rob. I have to be the best me to give the best me.
Thanks Alex!
Hi Alex. Self-service is not egocentric (as many believe). The universe expects us to serve ourselves in right ways, which automatically includes serving others in right ways. ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ implies that you cannot not love your neighbor any more than you love yourself, so work on loving yourself more so you can love your neighbors more. It’s a real win-win. blessings
Hi JK and Rob,
Thank you both for this series. I personally enjoyed it very much. I’m a student of life as well my friends. I believe we will always be students of life. There is no person that knows everything. We might be excellent at “something,” but we can not know everything there is to know. There is always room for improvement and room to learn and enhance what we know.
In regards reading self-help books, they have helped me extensively change my life in many areas of life, but this positive change didn’t come from reading, it happened beause I started to apply what I read and learned to my life. A long time ago, I used to just read, read, and read self help books, real change didn’t happen until I made a decision to apply what I learn to my life. Now, if something is not going the way I want to in any area of life, I take responsibility for it and start looking for answers from within. Great post as always my friends and thanks for sharing.
Hi Dia. You are right. We cannot know everything there is to know. What is most important to know is this: the more we know, the more we know that there is far more to know. Thus, we are eternal students (sponges of knowledge). To all that think this way, everything is possible, for they are living with awakened minds. blessings
Hi Dia,
Personally, when I read read read, I don’t absorb absorb absorb. That’s just me. I have to pace myself. I do read a lot…but i find myself reading the same book multiple times to ensure that I can full take away all that it has to offer. I used to always wish that I could read a book once and retain most of it. Some day I might have that skills set…but for now – I have to take a much slower approach! But I’ve discovered how to make it work for me so I’m fine with.
Anyhow, I went on a tangent there. Maybe one day you can write a post about reading and comprehending; sharing some of your tips.
Thanks Dia!
You’ve made beautiful music together.
I’ve embraced the life of a continuous learner early on. My most significant shift was getting away from “if … thens” and enjoying the process and the journey. The other shift was focusing more on leading with my “why” and shaping from the inside out.
Above all, the most important lesson for me was how we each have to own our journey, and the most important person to take care of the business of you, is you.
J.D. Meier recently posted..Six Guiding Strategies to Build Up Your Self-Confidence
Hi J.D. You practice ‘shaping from the inside out’. Then you have a healthy body, a clean brain, and a better trained intellect than most. You are able to express your authentic nature easily, without so much hindrance from the ‘other self’ (the false self that we all create in childhood moments of fear and pain). NICE JOB! blessings
Hello J.D.
“more on leading with my “why”…” I like the sounds of that. To me that means moving forward with purpose. A great way to advance along the journey that we own!
Thanks J.D.
Thanks rob and Jk. Yes, we are all students of life. I always say, when the learning is done, I must be dead.
Having three adult daughter, I now find myself learning from them. As we get older, they always say there is a generation gap. I have found to close that gap, I listen and learn from young adult as the world changes and keep an open mind to these changes. Instead of getting caught in just the old ways of thinking and doing thing there is always something to learn from the young.
The world is changing very quickly and getting out of my comfort zone and learning keeps me from getting left behind.
This has been a wonderful series Jk and rob. We all can be teacher, but we have to be a student first. Once we become a teacher remember to be a student, so we don’t lose our teaching ability.
Just like a doctor is a doctor, but if he or she doesn’t keep up with new information or technolgy he is just an old fashion doctor.
Thanks again for sharing with us.
Debbie
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Hi Debbie. ‘When all learning is done, you must be dead.’ WISE conclusion! As the eternal student gazes into the future, he (she) becomes dimly conscious of the fact that the more he knows, the more he knows that there is a lot more to know. That sounds very much like you, Debbie. Thank you.
Hi Debbie,
I find that my young children (8, 6 and 2) constantly teach me lessons. Some of the lessons are amazing, some are great reminders that slipped my present mind.
You’ve adopted a great way to address all the living you still have to do. Do so while being fluidly a student of life. Not worrying about the teaching only, but also about the learning.
Bests to you Debbie. And thanks for the friendly email (about my site being hacked). FIXED!
Hi Jk,
Very glad that you have it fixed and all is well. You have so much great info that we all can use to learn.
Debbie
Debbie @ Happy Maker recently posted..5 Easy Steps to Develop Lasting Relationships
I think that’s why I like you two so much. You don’t rely on parroting the same old advice. You find life’s lessons as you live your lives and then share a truly unique message with us.
Thanks for putting together this awesome segment. I hope it isn’t too long before you try something like this again.
Bryce
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Hi Bryce,
I’m thrilled that the series was enjoyed. I know that it was a great experience for myself and from phone calls and emails and text messages, I know other shave taken some somethings away from it as well.
Thanks!
Hi Bryce. I find that ‘parroting advice’ is a consequence of avoiding confusion that I’m feeling inside of myself. When I am parroting, I’m in denial, I prefer to act as though I know, than admit I don’t know. Ignorance of a subject always projects itself outwardly as parroting advice (for me). I love parrots, but I don’t want to be one. Thank you for that reminder. blessings
I totally related to this concept . . .
“I read dozens of self-help books and had become a know-it-all. I thought my job was to fix everyone else, but not apply the knowledge to my own life.”
Not too long ago, I was listening to Tony Robbins talk about this happening to him. But unlike him, I’ve been great at knowing what to do, telling other people how to do it, but not doing it myself. Especially when it came to that soul-searching personal development stuff.
But the best I’ve ever felt is when I was applying what I recommended people try. Real conviction came through in my voice and writing. Also having the personal stories has helped drive the point home stronger.
Love that you reminded me of how important is to take action and speak from your experience.
Hi Lewis. I knew Tony well, years ago when he started out. His greatest secret to success is that he never stopped asking, “What does this have to do with me?” He’d ask it when he would attend Jim Rohn seminars, and he’d ask it when he took personal NLP sessions with the likes of Richard Bandler (one of the founders of NLP). In order to proceed logically, we must never stop asking, “What does this lesson have to do with me?” … and then actualize it in our own lives. So, so many folks read a few books, and then think it is their job to fix the world. (I know, oh how I know … I was one of them!) TRYING TO GET SUCCESS FROM TRYING TO FIX OTHERS IS LIKE TRYING TO GET PERFUME FROM A ROCK. Thank you for reminding me of this. blessings
Hello Lewis,
I think there’s something within us that says that we have to be leaders first. I think that society in general drives this message (at least in the US – I’m not sure about other countries/cultures). What this does, I believe, is makes us think that we have to be leaders, or else we’re weak. But I think a modest follower is much more powerful than a so-so leader. One who is willing to learn and apply, compared to one who is willing to profess but not practice is short changing themselves and those who are willing to take their advice.
I’m not pointing fingers in any other direction than towards myself. My fairly new understanding of this makes me feel new, energized and ready to lead the right way…by being a student/follower first. There’s a progression to walking, driving, and everything else. The same applies to being a teacher!
PEACE
It was very well authored and easy to understand. Unlike additional blogs I have read which are really not that good. I also found your posts very interesting. In fact after reading, I had to go show it to my friend and he enjoyed it as well!
Hi Nancy. Life is delightfully simple for the few who live by natural laws. I am still working at this (as are all of us). Thank you for sharing. blessings
Hi Nancy,
I’m happy that you enjoyed the post. Thanks for sharing it as well.
Jk,
I don’t know what it is about the nature of humans to want to help others instead of first helping themselves. I know in my role as a father, husband and a man I spend most of my time making sure I meet the needs of the people who mean the most to me. Everything else comes secondary. I guess if you only care about yourself the world could perceive you as being selfish and nobody wants to be seen that way but is it right. Does meeting the you needs before others make you seem selfish?
Hi Frank.
We really cannot help others until we learn to help and take care of ourselves. A problem arises when folks think their job is to ‘fix’ others, when in fact their own lives are in still turmoil. This, unfortunately, has become a common practice in the self-help world.
Many folks read a book or two and decide they are gurus. Yet, if you were to see how they really live, you’d realize that they should spend more time improving their own lot in life rather than assuming the role of guru. I got ‘tetched in the head’ with this bug when I first began investigating self-help books, how to get rich seminars, self-empowerment courses and the likes.
An awakened individual is like the captain of a ship who knows both ship and sea. That’s the person I want to turn to when I want advice (not the person who is a self-assigned captain who knows little about ships and less about the sea … and is half asleep thinking he is fully awake).
blessings
Good questions Frank! I wouldn’t consider a person to be selfish if they are working to better themselves, as long as they don’t allow their responsibilities to crumble in the process.. And I surely wouldn’t consider a person to be selfish is they were working to better themselves in order to better serve others in the future.
I’m with you “I know in my role as a father, husband and a man I spend most of my time making sure I meet the needs of the people who mean the most to me.”
It’s frankly astounding what I don’t know. I may be well educated, I may have an extensive work history, I may know many revered people, but I know very little. A long time ago, about 16 years back, I met someone who would teach me every day just how limited I was, how much else there was to learn, and that it’s much more interesting to listen than to speak. In the last couple of years, I realized that not only was there a third dimensional world full of information but there was another dimension to tap into as well. That suddenly made this one look quite small in comparison.
JK and Rob, honestly I don’t want or need to know it all. Each time I suppose I know something, I’m put to the test to experience it first hand. I don’t get away with much of anything! I am glad of that, though. It means that somehow, my knowledge and development is important, as is the development of each human here. The universe is endlessly fascinating and I’m glad to be a part of it. It is by invitation only, right?
Julie | A Clear Sign recently posted..Shhh It’s A Secret Fun Ways To Connect With Your Spiritual Team
Hi Julie. When we ask ourselves to give ourselves the guiding light – we always know all that we need to know in the moment to make the next right choice. The guiding light solves everything when we stop presupposing that we know what the guiding light is going to offer next. The universe is endlessly fascinating, as are you, Julie. blessings.
Hi Julie,
“The universe is endlessly fascinating and I’m glad to be a part of it.”
The is one powerful statement. And because of the endlessness of the universe, there can’t be an expectation for us to be all knowing. But still, we place that expectation on ourselves until we learn otherwise.
I figure that I’ll know what I need to know when I need to know it. That means that it may require some work on my end…but by the time I need said knowledge, I’ll have it.
Thanks for sharing your very deep insights with us Julie!
You know what JK, I wasn’t always like this but today I am glad to say that I am also the kind of person that is a student of it all. Whether it’s life, business or anything else, I never look to or try to claim that I am a guru that is going to teach others something that I am not clear on myself.
However, if the opportunity does arise, I believe it is my responsibility to help nudge or point that person in the right direction.
This was truly an amazing and insightful conversation guys! Loved it!
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Hi Hector. It was fun to make your acquaintance. Indeed, we win the pleasure of right feelings when we help nudge others in the right direction. Our personal strength comes from helping ourselves, AND it comes from helping others help themselves. In such moments, when helping others is truly helpful and not self-boasting, life is a pleasure for everyone involved. Thank you.
Hey Hector,
Nudging people in [what we believe] is the right direction is often all we can do. Offering our perspective, without giving our direct advice is also a great gift to others. Sometimes folks don’t need our suggestion on what we think they should do, rather our take on the situation. The ability to see something from another standpoint sometimes offers exactly what’s needed; clarity.
Thanks for all of your insights during this series Hector!
What a great series guys? I think the lesson you shared about turning your attention to yourself and making sure you are living and learning is such an important one. It is always so easy to find fault with other people isn’t it, but the real challenge is admitting our own shortfalls and then choosing to work on them. Thanks for the wisdom;)
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Hi Sibyl. When we learn to replace frantic action with quiet seeing, we learn that our shortcomings are doors to discovering the truth of our potential. Nervously trying to look good by impressing others (which includes trying to fix them), stops us from entering truth’s quiet kingdom where all of our answers are found. It seems you are finding the the door to the kingdom. I love the easy nature you exhibit. Thank you.
Yes Sibyl – it’s much easier to find faults in others and less attracting to find faults in ourselves. But we all have them. With an honest assessment, we’d know where the time really needs to be spent. I’m learning that more and more myself!
Hi Rob! this is a great learning for a lot of people. Thanks for inspiring.
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Hi Vilma. Thank you for the ‘thank you. Human beings are so fond of the familiar and the habitual, they refuse to make life a daring adventure (which is the whole purpose of being here). I imagine you sense this; do you? blessings
Hello Vilma,
Thanks for stopping by and checking out the series! Hope to see you back again in the future.
hi jk/ rob
thanks for coming up with this series.
i enjoyed reading it and had to go back to the beginning (of the series) to fully grasp the lessons in the whole conversations you’ve had with rob(i suggest people do it too). the journey of life isnt always about being in the forefront trying to be different things to people with a view to fixing their problems. not being able to accept that we dont know it all is a problem itself and our sincerity goes a long way in helping us maintain our humility and dignity.
what’s there to enjoy if one doesnt show sincerity and honesty in every endeavour. i feel(i may be wrong) that the failure to embrace and accept ones limitations (within the context of this post) gives rise to ones delusion and manipulation of others.
there’s so much information widely available but of what use is it, if no siginificant changes occur in ones life as a result of acquiring knowledge. at times being wrong creates an opportunity to get things right but it all starts with me.
thanks for sharing this jk. take care and love to the family.
p.s. please look out for my email for your contribution to the magazine (if it’s okay and you can please)
Hi Ayo. You have a wonderfully sincere spirit about you. This sincerity stops anxious thoughts from interfering with the natural flow of your life. Keep it up, and you’ll find that life can be delightfully simple, even when you aspire to achieve the grandest of dreams. blessings
Hey there Ayo,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment sir. In it, you mentioned: “..at times being wrong creates an opportunity to get things right but it all starts with me.”
I think that’s a great outlook. It’s taking an honest view into a given situation and taking a stance that I have been wrong “that time” but I don’t have to be wrong “next time”.
You’re such a positive minded guy. I always appreciate hearing thoughts.
Thank you
Hey man,
Sorry I’m so late to comment, you know where I’ve been at. This three part series has been absolutely mind-blowing. It is essential that we all ask ourselves those questions if we have any intentions of bettering ourselves and moving forward in our lives. Thanks to Rob (great name by the way!) for his wonderful insight – here’s a guy that talks the talk AND walks the walk.
Also Jk, I want to thank you for being so open, honest and sincere in sharing your insightful answers with this community.
“Stop being a know-it-all, and start being a sincere student of life.” I was in this exact situation around a year ago. I really started getting into personal development, but took the completely wrong approach. My plan was to emulate a guy who was even younger than me – but none of his “teachings” were from life experience, they were all from books and youtube videos – the usual rehashed personal development stuff. Luckily, it didn’t take me long to realise that this was a totally flawed approach. No one likes a know it all. It is essential that we practice what we preach. Unfortunately there is still a great deal of rehashed content out there, particularly when it comes to personal development.
The people that know they are the students are the best teachers -you and Rob are prime examples of this. It’s all about leading by example.
Robert recently posted..The easiest and cheapest way to differentiate yourself in a saturated market
Hi Robert. Ordinary thinking cannot solve our daily problems because ordinary thinking caused them. I used to think that if I read a self-help book, and talked about it to others, THEN things will change all by themselves. Well, after several years it was apparent that I’d become a faker; my problems were still there and I’d convinced many folks that I knew what I was doing. When I developed the ability to NOT think in my ordinary ways, I found I was able to NOT respond to life in my ordinary ways. That’s when things began changing for me! Thank you for stimulating me to respond with this comment. I love reminding myself of this. Thank you
Hey Robert,
No prob on being late. You’re never too late actually. I appreciate you coming through and sharing your comment.
I think conducting an exercise like this allows one to unlock some of their own doors. Yes, the questions were guided, but my answers came from the heart. As I answer some questions, I had several ah ha moments regarding certain things in my life.
Glad you enjoyed the series. I certainly did and the experience in general has been been life-impacting.
PEACE
Hi Rob,
Unfortunately I haven’t had the chance to read the whole series ( but I will); however I did catch power pieces here an there expecially from this posting.
In reading the 5 things you did to focus more on yourself I begag to relate. I too have been focusing on taking my own advice, I’ve actually stopped providing as much advice as I used to and put energy in to leading by example.
This can be hard because at times I want to have all the answers and fix everybody’s problems, just not so sure how realistice that is.
And as far as stepping outside of my comfort zone, its been the best as far as my personal growth. To me, this is key in developing who we are as people and working towards gaining everything and more we want out of life.
Excellent post Rob, I’ll have to come back and read the parts of this series I missed.
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Hi Chelsea,
I’m glad you got a chance to checkout the series (even though not completely – and of course no pressure).
There’s really something to getting out of that comfort zone isn’t there? While it’s all uncomfortable in the moment, short following it broadens that area of comfort.
I’ve now gotten to the point when I feel like I’m not challenged, I know that I’m not pushing myself hard enough and I’m staying with in my comfort zone. I take action on it these days instead of just letting it be. I have huge goals and I know it will take some discomfort from time to time to get there.
Hi Chelsea. I like your comment. It is clear that you read our blog and asked, “What does this have to do with me.” This is the big question that makes a difference! When we are teachable about how to end our blunders in life – we can end them. When we insist we have the answers, and are here to ‘fix’ everyone else – our blunders gain momentum in our lives. I know this well. blessings
Thank you for sharing this, This is great learning for all people. Thanks for the post!
Hi Kimberly. I appreciate your gratitude. Here is a special gift for you: Never feel badly if self-observation shows that you are living on a lower level than you hoped. On the contrary – feel glad! this discovery makes elevation possible. YES! blessings
Hi Kimberly,
Glad that you enjoyed the series. Thanks for sharing your feedback!.
Wow JK what a well thought out and insightful piece. It was a pleasure. Thanks
Hey JK, Rob – I enjoyed this read, I’m not sure about way stop quoting popular sayings. As a student, saying Like “what the mind can think, It can achieve have been a life line for me. When I started out with Personal development I could not read or write, but I had this saying. It was a torch in the dark. Now I read and write, and working on the next goal. if the saying is true sing it for all the hear
As for self help books, I think they only serve one real propose, and its not for static intellectual knowledge. Its for self awareness. you can integrate more of what you learn into your active conciousness with awareness and action. Real growth is about awareness and knowledge in action – That comes with managing yourself – Directing your thoughts, emotions and actions, when you look at yourself and your actions you learn from the inside out. this is root of self growth – as students are craft is to own our mind, body and spiritual energies to the degree we wish – so we can think and achieve our goals in life. we are all master’s and student – my children remind me of this every day.
Blessing Jk, Rob
Be well
Be great
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Hi…I have read the parts 1 and 2 of this post and they are all cool..Same as this…Thanks for the information…
Hi Rob,
Thanks for this post. It’s so informative. Additional learning for me, Thanks for sharing and looking forward for more.
great read Jk
i am bit balanced to it comes to spending my time either helping myself or helping others
liked your post
This is a great learning for us, it’s my first time to read you post and this is already the final chapter, I will be looking for your previous post. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the content of this post and I really appreciate that you have shared it to us…
Thank you for the very inspiring post that you have shared in this site…I love it…
Very inspiring! I really love reading your article.. It motivates me a a lot.. Thanks for the post! Keep up the good work!
Kisha recently posted..make energy free
It is definitely healthy to talk to people with different culture and belief because it can give us a lot of insights…
interesting post! it catches up my attention. you just did a great job for putting up all this very inspiring insights.. love it!
Having conversations are one of the best things that we can do in every day life (as long as it is full of information and lessons to learn from)…
I love the teacher/student exchange. We all need to remember humility sometimes.
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Very interesting series of interview’s, looking forward to more like it